Code Brown

Sometimes the best way to clean your rug is to poop on it.

Yep, that’s what I said. But I don’t recommend this method due to the stress involved and of course, the smell.

This seems to be a recurring problem in our house, particularly when I go out and leave my husband in charge of the kids. Let me give you our Code Brown History. If you’re squeamish or sensitive to poop talk, this is the time to stop reading. Fair warning. Please forgive me for saying poop so many times.

When Lyla was 15 months old, she decided pooping in her diaper was gross. So she started holding it all day until she got in the tub in the evening. Once in the water, it came right out!

“Code Brown!” I’d call out, and Thomas would come running to help. Cleaning that out of bath water is just disgusting… Thomas was a saint and cleaned it up for me every time I yanked her out of there. The sieve cups really came in handy. We decided to put the baby toilet in the tub so we could plop her on it if she looked like she was starting to go. That seriously freaked her out and curbed her tub potty habits.

One evening I went out to dinner with a friend. I think this was the first time I had been out with a friend since Lyla was born. I was way overdue for some space from the house, from my daughter, and from mommy life. But during dinner, my phone started blowing up with texts from Thomas.

“Code Brown! Lyla pooped in the tub.

Lyla just pooped on the carpet…

When are you coming home?

Ginger just ate Lyla’s poop.

How much longer will you be out?”

He was pretty traumatized…

I hate to say that I didn’t feel too sorry for him. I wanted to chant “Diaper, diaper, use a DIAPER!” Not to mention the fact that my dainty little girl with her long lashes and sparkly blue eyes had a blow out on me every day for the first ten months of her life. Thomas was so sure that I was putting her diaper on wrong. This gave him a taste of my wild and messy life as the primary baby caretaker.

Fast forward to Cute Pooper #2. 17 month old Luke no longer wants to poop in his diaper either. Twice in the past week Luke pooped on the carpet after Daddy let him out of the tub naked. “Diaper, diaper, use a DIAPER!”

The second was the worst. I was at Urgent Care getting tested for Strep Throat. Texts from Thomas:

“What’s your ETA?

Can you pick up carpet cleaner?”

And this is what I came home to:

I drew a dress on her since she was also a bath escapee. She told me was practicing her balance here.

Series of events:

  • Thomas lets Luke out of tub naked.
  • Luke poops on family room rug, then waddles into Lyla’s room.
  • Thomas finds stinky Luke in Lyla’s room but can’t find any poop. Ginger is licking the carpet.
  • Lyla runs through family room and steps in poop with bare feet.
  • Thomas hears Lyla crying.
  • Thomas takes Lyla out to clean her up.
  • Thomas comes back and finds Luke playing in the poop in the family room.

Oh man. What a mess. Lesson learned? I hope so. Even still, I’m sure we have many more messy days ahead of us. Oh, and my favorite rug that Thomas was sure got ruined, looks better than ever after lots of carpet cleaner, a roll of paper towels, and a thorough cleaning with the shampoo vacuum.

Crises averted! (Since writing this, we’ve had another Code Brown during Daddy bath duty. This time he got super lucky that Luke pooped in a mega block for easy clean up. Maybe lesson not learned.)

Check out that clean rug, though. Still has some years left in it.

14 thoughts on “Code Brown”

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