Heart, Mind, & Body

“Midnight Visitor”

One night I left the door unlocked,

And someone snuck right in.

I didn’t see or hear him.

He was as black as sin.

In his hand he carried

Poison of the worst kind,

Which he wasted no time dispensing,

And it seeped into my mind.

His lips twisted with a smile,

A truly evil smirk.

His face contorted all the more

As he watched the potion work.

“Sweet dreams, my dear,” he hissed

“For tomorrow they’ll be gone.”

He gave my cheek a kiss

And sang a chilling song.

In the morning when I awoke

My brain was in a fog.

I hardly knew my husband,

My children, or the dog.

Depression stayed right by my side-

A thorn, a weight, a cage.

I tried to get away,

But I saw no place to hide.

His fingers wrapped around my heart-

They were as cold as ice.

The less I felt, the more he squeezed

With his life-stealing vice.

Depression leaned in closer

And whispered in my ear

“Honey, you are worthless.”

And confirmed my greatest fear.

My eyes were pools of misery

reflecting the gray clouds,

And all I saw was darkness

as I looked through his black shroud.

He became a jealous lover

And my only friend.

He shook his finger at me,

and said, “Let no one else come in.”

He introduced me to his sister-

Anxiety was her name.

She quickly let me know

That she wasn’t playing games.

She scared me silly, I must admit,

Sometimes I couldn’t breathe.

She made my body shake and twitch-

I thought it was the end.

But depression wasn’t done with me.

He said, “Oh no- not yet.

I would like to play with you some more.

You are my favorite pet.”

He chipped away my confidence

As He spun his lies with skill.

I forgot my identity

And lost my power of will.

He roughly sewed my lips shut

With fiery, burning thread

So I could barely speak,

And I wished that I was dead.

Finally, one morning,

After a night with no rest,

I threw up my hands

And cried out in distress:

“Help me, please, someone!

I can’t do this anymore.

Take me to the hospital!”

And I walked straight out the door.

The doctors gave me medicine

Underneath bright lights.

Depression shook his fist at me,

And said, “I will FIGHT!”

I shrunk back in fear,

But this was my new path.

Depression was exposed

And would be dealt with at last.

With a healthy dose of medicine,

I shook off his icy hands.

I felt my heart beat again,

And I began to grin.

“This feels good!” I laughed,

as hope warmed my chest.

That night when I went to bed

I finally got some rest.

The morning brought clarity-

I could beat this evil beast.

Depression circled me and snarled,

But I would not retreat.

When the monster lunged

My dagger PLUNGED

Straight into his heart!

Depression clutched his gaping wound,

Then to his knees he fell.

I shoved him out the door

And told him he could go to hell.

Anxiety tried to linger,

But I shook my head at her.

She clung to her dying brother

As I kicked him to the curb.

Victorious, I walked away from them,

Threw my hands up to the sky.

I gave a joyful SHOUT!

Thankful tears filled my eyes.

Depression was a goner-

I would get a second chance.

I spun in a circle,

Even did a little dance.

Then I waltzed up to my husband,

Kissed him smack-dab on the lips.

My children ran into my arms,

My spirit was doing flips.

As they snuggled up against me,

They felt so soft and warm,

Kaleidoscopes of color

Quickly shifting form.

When I took my husband’s hand,

He smiled down at me.

I am safe and loved.

I’m brave.

I am FREE.

by Holly Fister

I want to finish by saying that I know depression is a complex issue that isn’t resolved instantly with medicine. While a lot of factors can cause it, a lot of things are also needed to help someone heal. Some people struggle with it their whole lives. It comes and goes during different seasons of their lives, an unwelcome friend. So I want to be sensitive to that. Likewise, depression obviously doesn’t pour poison down our throats and BOOM! we’ve got it. I just thought it would be fun to personify it and express the way it felt to me sometimes.

2 thoughts on ““Midnight Visitor””

  1. I love this. Thanks for being brave and sharing. While I have not dealt with depression, I know anxiety well. I am in the process of writing about it. Its a little scary putting it all out there. I’m feeling very vulnerable about it but your posts are encouraging. I describe anxiety as like walking around with a black veil over your head, looking at the world through it. Everything is dark and distorted. Luckily, that veil has been gone for almost a year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, anxiety is tough stuff Lori! Writing about it will be good for you, even if you don’t post and share it. I’ve really liked writing about what I went through. It kind of gets it off my chest and helps me process.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s