Family

I Got Gas

I’m doing a little dance right now because BOTH kids are napping! Eek! Well, Lyla might not be asleep, but both children are in their rooms, and the house is quiet. This hasn’t happened in like a year!

And I really needed it today. We’ve had a particularly wet and wild morning. You won’t believe what I did earlier…

Today I took a bath in gasoline. Yep, pretty much. How in the world does that happen, you ask? Well, first of all, it probably had to do with my brain vacating my body for a few crucial moments. I wasn’t getting the cheapest gas, and you know me- trying to save money, I pulled the nozzle out half way through thinking I would fill up later for a better price.

But I guess I didn’t get the latch to pop down and actually turn it off? I pulled it out and to my horror gas spouted out everywhere. It was so powerful! I was swaying back and forth shooting gas around like a fireman wielding his water hose. I couldn’t make it stop! It saturated my pants and splashed my face and hair. Just picture the male models in Zoolander dousing themselves with gas except replace their joyful faces with mine of sheer panic.

Should I have run in to tell the gas station attendant about the large puddle of gas on the ground? Probably, but I jumped into my van dripping gasoline and got outta Dodge. Don’t worry, I paid via credit card before. Holy cow that was embarrassing…

Lyla was so sweet to me in the car that she made me feel better. She said in her cute little voice, “I’m sorry you smell bad, Mommy. I like flower smells. Ginger likes stinky smells. Daddy likes good smells, like me and Lukey.” All true except Luke rarely smells good.

The gas station was only our first stop for our morning of errands. It takes so much effort to get all of us dressed and out the door that I didn’t want to call it quits to go home and shower. So I stopped back by the house, stripped down as I ran in, and just washed my hands and put on new clothes. Let me tell you, I still reeked to high heaven. I’m sure everyone in the bookstore could smell it. Mmm, don’t you just love the smell of coffee grinds, new books, and fresh gasoline?! It was so strong that I got a headache.

Well, it was too good to be true. My girl just came out of her room. The peace and quiet was good while it lasted. It gave me just enough time to take a quick shower and type this out. At least I smell better! If you’re on the market for a new scent, I don’t recommend Eau de Gasoline.

3 thoughts on “I Got Gas”

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