Heart, Mind, & Body

Directing My Gaze Upward

“Not to us, Lord, not to us, 

but to your name be the glory, 

because of your love and faithfulness.” Psalm 115:1

 

I have made a decision:

All of the rest of my posts in January will focus on God.

 

Here is my reason:

2018 was a year of introspection for me. In fact, I believe I did more self-reflection in 2018 than all of my other years combined. And while it was a healthy and important thing for me to understand how I work and think, I’ve reached the point where I’m kind of sick of me. Too much self-reflection is taking my focus off of God.

I want to devote the rest of the month of January to posts about his goodness and love. I want to share my insights about him, not me. I want to glorify the Lord instead of highlighting my struggles.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 

I think this 2 Corinthians verse sums up my blogging mindset from September until today. I knew I was broken. I knew I should share my struggles and how the Lord was helping me work through them. I didn’t want to continue hiding my depression. I wanted to pull off the facade. I wanted to expose it to the world, and therefore be held accountable to deal with it.

I have to admit, I’ve really been struggling with my depression again recently. I’m disappointed. I guess I thought since I’m on medication, and everything felt like it had smoothed out, that it wouldn’t rear its ugly head again.

Yet, here it is.

So, what can I change? I’m already on meds, so that side of it is addressed. That’s why I want to put all of my focus on the Lord, because my weakness is depressing. My struggles overwhelm me. I want to fill my head with truths straight from the Bible. Writing about it will encourage me to keep my eyes directed upward instead of inward.

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41

Lord, help me direct my gaze toward you. Fill me with your promises so I can know the hope, comfort, and peace that comes from you.  

“My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you — I whom you have delivered.” Psalm 71:23

 

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